I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Drunk is a universal language darling
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
