Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize