I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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