If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Enjoy the penises
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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