1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
