you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
