they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
