Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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