You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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