I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We need to get me chipped asap
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
how does that bad decision feel?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
