Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
