i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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