so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
