sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
