I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
