If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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