What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
