Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
