Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
