watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
