Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
