And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
