best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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