when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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