the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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