grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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