god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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