My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
