Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
