Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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