It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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