i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
