his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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