Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
