My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize