As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
