she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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