As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
