I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
