Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
