I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sponge bath it is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
