Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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