Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize