I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
