I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
