The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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