Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
