i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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