Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
