Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
