The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize