so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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