I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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