Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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