A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
