I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
