Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
