Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
